Recently I got the Fuji FinePix IS-1, which is an Infrared (IR) sensitive camera. Thus far I have been enjoying photographing with this bad boy. The pupil are inverted, skin glows, hair is different. It is almost as if they are vampires. When it’s sunny outside the world is a completely different place.

There goes the sun

2011 was surely an interesting year. So many thing happened, good and bad, happy and sad, awesome and WTF. However I do look forward to the new year, 2012 the year of the dragon–my year! It’s surely going to be an interesting year and I am looking forward to doing things new and different.

Everyone have a great new year!

Above shot was taken with Fuji FinePix IS-1, and infrared camera. Thus the color is kinda off–but I like it actually.

Chungwon probably has the “most awesomest” piano teacher–Mr.Boris Slutsky. One day some of us gathered at his place for some nice cooked goose (thank you Felix for taking the time and cooking it) accompanied by good wine, laughter, and good vibes. Though I was never played the piano Mr.Slusky always welcomed me as part of the crew–what an honor.

See the full gallery on Flickr

An homage

There are certain expression in Korean that is purely beautiful that shouldn’t be translated any other way. For example, in English we say “my mom” when talking to others about the person who gave birth to us. But in Korean we say “our mom (우리 엄마)”. Because not only is she my mom, but mom to others as well–it’s a shared entity rather than only for one individual like how we share appetizers. We use such possesive structure when describing about anything: car, house, cats, friends, etc. It is possible to say “my mom”, but something feels out of place–like when Yoda is speaking you understand his content, but you know it’s kinda off.

Our mom is the one person who will forgive all our mistakes, nagged at us for our own good, made the “most awesomest” kick-ass food–when temporarily gluttony wasn’t a sin– and one person who can really see through all the bullshit.

Below are some of my key memories of our mom.

At the age of…

5 was very first memory of her and dad. Eating hot dog at a park in Seoul during sunset.
6 she introduced me to the Beatles, American Pie, and John Livingston Segal while hanging around in her painting studio.
12 she made me eat her experimental egg drop soup–she’s a great cook, but sucked at making egg drop soup.
16 she told me to stop constantly switching the radio channel in her car, while driving me to a date.
17 she gave up her lucrative career as a fashion designer/artist and moved to Hawai’i with me and my sister for a better life for us, and because I was causing too much trouble in Korea.
18 she was furious at me for getting suspended (almost expelled) few month before graduating from high school–for drinking at a school event. She almost killed me.
21 she tried to cut off my dread locks every time I went to bed.
22 she found out I secretly changed majors from Photography to Ceramics few years back. She almost killed me.
25 she pondered why I still acted like a 15 year old.
30 she told me “You really need to act your age now”.
31 she resurrected me after a horrible food poisoning–bad sushi
33 she taught me how to make kimchi.
34 she was surprised I held on to a job for 8 years.
35 she pondered why I still acted like a 25 year old and honestly told me “Your jokes are really bad. Do you really laugh at your own bad jokes?”
35 After 4 years of fighting cancer I heard her last long breathe.

In Korea when I was two years old

On 2011-11-15 23:11

Our mom passed away peacefully while at a hospice care in Towson, Maryland. She had been fighting cancer for 4 years. She had to give up her beloved take-out restaurant and go into chemo. She was so upset not at the cancer but the fact of losing her hair. She fought long and hard, for herself, our family, and for my nephew Vincent. On 2011-11-11 Friday morning she went to the emergency room things were becoming critical. Saturday morning she mustarded all her strength to say good-bye to all of us. Since she went into the ER days and nights has been all jumbled into one blob. Even today I kept asking “What day is today?” I can’t tell the difference since Friday. It’s been painful last few months (all the needles and hose in and out of her body, witnessing deterioration of muscle mass, consciousness, and appetite), the last few days has been toughest days–my ACL injury/surgery seemed like a joke in comparison. Seeing once a vigorous lively person now with barely some grunts, instinctive movements, not able to stand up, and eyes that had a hard time focusing.

She is the primer in my life

I learned to cook, clean, and respect my car because of her. She instilled in me iron-strong work ethic, proper manner to elders, taught me the importance of cleanliness–which is visible in my codes, paintings, and photographies. I am who I am because of her. In my next life, if I were to have a best friend it would be a person just like her.

2011-06-22

The day I took her in to get her blood transfusion because of her chemo. She was so happy I came with her. She didn't want me to take photos of her so I took a picture of her hand. The cancer ate away slowly, she once had beautiful hands now it's so brittle like a winter branch. Rest in beautiful peace (1949-09-22 - 2011-11-15) Read more about our mom at moment.jihonation.com/2011/11/16/our-mom/

2011-11-11

I was suppose to go to her house on Saturday with sushi for lunch. I had so much work I couldn't go earlier. I wish I went to her on Thursday instead. My sister and mom in the ER. Rest in beautiful peace (1949-09-22 - 2011-11-15) Read more about our mom at moment.jihonation.com/2011/11/16/our-mom/

2011-11-15

After her last breathe at 23:11. Once so warm, loving, and creative hand is now so cold. Mom why couldn't you stay with us for a few more years. I wish I could have done more. Rest in beautiful peace (1949-09-22 - 2011-11-15) Read more about our mom at moment.jihonation.com/2011/11/16/our-mom/

I grief…

not only for missing her, but mostly for what I could have done more as a son. I will miss seeing “Call from Mom” on my phone and the fact there is no one else to–purely and innocently–call “mom” any more. It’s funny in the last few days I started remembering every moment in my life with her in it. The cloth and make-up she wore to my middle school graduation, the cute asian smile when I helped her buy her car, to the smirk she had when I enjoyed her cooking.

Dear Mom,

I am so very very sorry I have been so busy lately. I tried to work so hard and fast (even staying up late every night) trying to get everything done, so I can spend more time with you…but it is too late now. I wish I went to you on Thursday rather than delaying till Saturday because I was busy. I rarely have regrets but that is one I can not make up for. I know we had our differences, not because we were different but because we were so alike. I am you. I have your nose, your passion for art and cooking, but most of all I have so much warm blanket memories of you caring for me despite all my flaws and bad jokes. I remember so clearly back in the 80s you recording in VHS all those Tom and Jerry–along with Transformer–cartoon for me because I loved them. I did not know how to say it then, but I felt your love when I watched the tapes over and over again.

Thank you for all your sacrifice you made financially and giving up your artistic life because I got into so many fights and troubles in Korea. That is why I when I gave you allowance every month I never asked anything in return–that is something I learned from you, to give without asking anything in return. But sometimes I do blame myself for you getting cancer due to financial and other stress while living in the U.S. Every time when I see an immigrant worker working hard I see you and Dad. I always try to be extra polite and tip them well, hoping such positive karma will go back you.

At the same time I am happy you are now resting without any pain along side with your father (our grandfather) and all our ancestors before. I look forward to you haunting me from time to time and telling me to grow up. You are right, when you told me I will be the saddest one when you pass away.

I love you like a endless field of sunflower on a French province.

Our mom 우리 엄마 (1949-09-22 to 2011-11-15)

Today is another Friday with a numerical twist with an echo, it is 11-11-11. A day full of True and Yes in binary. I put in vacation for this date sometime ago for a dentist appointment. When making the appointment I choose today since it was easy to memorize 111111. After marking that on the calendar I realized this date will not come around for another century. Though the day off I have is filled with errands I figured why not make it a special errand day since it is filled with Trues and Yeses.

I captured this at 11:11:11 today near where I live. Last bit of leaves hanging on before Father Winter approaches.

If you have Flickr make sure to join this group 11|11|11 and contribute today’s photo.

Unixtime stamp for today is 1321031471. Today’s weather in Baltimore is sunny and windy with the high of 47.

Here is how the story goes

* Beloved friends came by the office whom I haven’t seen in a while.
* Kato sneezes
* I said “Bless you”.
* Kato cries as if I stole his college education fund.
* I got scolded by Matthew “What are you telling my kids. Don’t say that”.
* I say “Gesundheit?”.
* Kato cries more

I fail at baby sneeze.

Do you want awesome books that is made by killer people? Read about their life, the book, the family all mixed into one instance at www.iditosbooks.com.

Moment captured with my pimpin’ EF 16-35mm f/2.8L II USM.

We went over to my friends house yesterday, to make costume, carve pumpkins, and eat cookies. What better way to spend a Sunday with friends.

This is a group shot we did today at work. It was so much fun to see everyone in different costumes and various inner persona. Yay!

All moments were captured with my killer EF 8-15mm f/4L Fisheye USM

Warm autumn day is like a good drink at happy hour, feels so good. To enjoy the day we went out for a little walk and had a nice sunday brunch at Marie Louis. Also today I walked around with my camera for the first time in a few weeks. I have not done it in a while–been to busy with work (full time and freelance). Everything felt so good this afternoon.

All moments were captured with pimpin’ EF 16-35mm f/2.8L II USM.

See the full gallery at Flickr